Tag Archives: Aspie

1 Jul ’13: A new era of aspie therapy?

My last blog post kicked off a series of interesting posts in one of my aspie support facebook groups and a private message exchange with a fellow aspie girl (who, I’m sure, will be blogging about this too very soon!) has resulted in a bit of a lightbulb moment!

In my early aspie research, I was surprised to read that, due to sensory issues, many aspies don’t enjoy sex. Happily, I don’t have that particular issue, I think I may fall into the bracket of ‘sensory seeking’ in that department. It’s been somewhat reassuring to find out that I’m not alone in that.¬† Quite the reverse, in fact. In discussing sex as a stim, it came to light that many aspie ladies are enthusiastic participants in the BDSM scene.

The overwhelming exuberance of the discussion set my aspie pattern-seeking, finding-order-in-chaos, rationalisation-to-the-optimum-process brain into overdrive and the following question came to mind…

Is there a link between sex as an autistic stim, Proprioceptive sensory dysfunction and enjoyment of being restrained during sex?

This was quickly followed by another question…

If so, could the carefully structured experience of bondage, coupled with the emotional and physical release of orgasm, offset impending autistic meltdowns in adults?

It’s an interesting theory, is it not? And oh what fun to research! ūüėÄ

Could this herald a new era of autism intervention? Is there an emerging market for a new style of adult autistic sensory equipment? Is my husband going to freak out when I ask for his assistance in my research? Lol

To be continued… ūüėČ

***

A day or so after I published this post, my aspie friend had a bad day and could feel a meltdown building. She sought support from our facebook group so I suggested she test out my theory. She did… and it worked! ūüôā This was her comment the following day:

“I feel great this morning! We had a great BDSM session last night. Even tried a couple of new things that we hadn’t tried before. I needed the rope really tight where I felt anxiety and tension (across my chest). Afterwards my husband gave me a shoulder massage. I felt so relaxed. All the tension, tightness, build up of energy and emotions in my body was gone. It was all released in a good way. I don’t have that horrible ‘full’ overloaded feeling in my body either. I slept really well too. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately and this was the first night I slept really well. I feel refreshed and renewed this morning. Normally if I’ve had a meltdown I would be drained, tired and feel horrible but all the energy would be released from my body. I would probably sink into a depressive meltdown (depending how bad the other meltdown was) and then spend the next week trying to recover from both. But this time that didn’t happen. I feel great and like a new person.”

I was so pleased for her and even more curious now myself.

You can read my friend’s own blog post about this here: Fetishes and Autism

Next post: The wolf in sheep’s clothing

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Filed under Aspergers Syndrome, Relationships, Sex

2 Jun ’13: The day after

Yesterday, an 8 month long process of evaluation ended with the news that I have been officially diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Looking back, I can now see a lifetime of signs that were missed; from twirling, humming, rigidity and obsessive interests to being bullied, eating disorders, depression and loneliness.

But why bother having an official diagnosis now, at this stage of my life, when a self diagnosis would have been enough?

Because Asperger Syndrome is hereditary.¬† My¬†daughter is showing some traits and I can’t bear to watch her tumble and fall into the same black holes.¬† The sad fact remains that the current¬†diagnosis criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorders, worldwide, is wholly based upon research with autistic males, who present very differently from autistic females.¬† Until more females on the spectrum are diagnosed and prepared to add their voices and experience to the pool of knowledge available, many more (particularly high functioning) autistic girls and women are going to be missed (or misdiagnosed)¬†and continue stumbling blindly along in life wondering why they feel like they are on the wrong planet.

But that’s not the only reason.¬† I seek confirmation, validation.¬† Discovering I have Aspergers Syndrome¬†has finally answered all of my questions.¬† More than half of my life, and¬†a not inconsiderable sum of money, have been given over to extensive research and therapy to find out what is ‘wrong’ with me.¬† I now know that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with me, I’m simply different.¬† I perceive the world differently.¬† My brain is wired differently.¬† I have difficulties in some areas, gifts in others.¬† The relief is immense.¬† As immense as the burden of responsibility I now feel towards my young daughter.

I find myself wondering how different my life would have been if I had been diagnosed as a young child?¬† Would it have held me back?¬† Would I have limited myself?¬† Would I be the same person I am today?¬† I’m quite proud of many things, especially now I realise how much harder life has been for me compared with the¬†more neurotypical population.¬† But there has been tremendous cost along the way.¬†

Do I wish I had been diagnosed as a child? 

Yes.

Next post: To be or not to be…

Other related links

Profile of adult females with Aspergers

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Filed under Aspergers Syndrome, Diagnosis, Relationships