1 Jul ’13: A new era of aspie therapy?

My last blog post kicked off a series of interesting posts in one of my aspie support facebook groups and a private message exchange with a fellow aspie girl (who, I’m sure, will be blogging about this too very soon!) has resulted in a bit of a lightbulb moment!

In my early aspie research, I was surprised to read that, due to sensory issues, many aspies don’t enjoy sex. Happily, I don’t have that particular issue, I think I may fall into the bracket of ‘sensory seeking’ in that department. It’s been somewhat reassuring to find out that I’m not alone in that.  Quite the reverse, in fact. In discussing sex as a stim, it came to light that many aspie ladies are enthusiastic participants in the BDSM scene.

The overwhelming exuberance of the discussion set my aspie pattern-seeking, finding-order-in-chaos, rationalisation-to-the-optimum-process brain into overdrive and the following question came to mind…

Is there a link between sex as an autistic stim, Proprioceptive sensory dysfunction and enjoyment of being restrained during sex?

This was quickly followed by another question…

If so, could the carefully structured experience of bondage, coupled with the emotional and physical release of orgasm, offset impending autistic meltdowns in adults?

It’s an interesting theory, is it not? And oh what fun to research! 😀

Could this herald a new era of autism intervention? Is there an emerging market for a new style of adult autistic sensory equipment? Is my husband going to freak out when I ask for his assistance in my research? Lol

To be continued… 😉


A day or so after I published this post, my aspie friend had a bad day and could feel a meltdown building. She sought support from our facebook group so I suggested she test out my theory. She did… and it worked! 🙂 This was her comment the following day:

“I feel great this morning! We had a great BDSM session last night. Even tried a couple of new things that we hadn’t tried before. I needed the rope really tight where I felt anxiety and tension (across my chest). Afterwards my husband gave me a shoulder massage. I felt so relaxed. All the tension, tightness, build up of energy and emotions in my body was gone. It was all released in a good way. I don’t have that horrible ‘full’ overloaded feeling in my body either. I slept really well too. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately and this was the first night I slept really well. I feel refreshed and renewed this morning. Normally if I’ve had a meltdown I would be drained, tired and feel horrible but all the energy would be released from my body. I would probably sink into a depressive meltdown (depending how bad the other meltdown was) and then spend the next week trying to recover from both. But this time that didn’t happen. I feel great and like a new person.”

I was so pleased for her and even more curious now myself.

You can read my friend’s own blog post about this here: Fetishes and Autism

Next post: The wolf in sheep’s clothing



Filed under Aspergers Syndrome, Relationships, Sex

4 responses to “1 Jul ’13: A new era of aspie therapy?

  1. Miss M4884

    Awesome post. A note, not only do I like restraint, but I also like doing the restraining. I think the power play really helped me to gain confidence in myself after years of hiding my personality and being treated as a door mat.

    • Thanks and that’s great, glad to hear you’ve found BDSM liberating. It’s not something I’ve tried much myself but hearing about how much other adult aspies have enjoyed and benefitted from the experience has made me very curious! 🙂

  2. i am not on the spectrum, but am neuro-atypical, as i am diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. I am big into being restrained and spanked, in a loving way, of course!

    my younger brother is autistic, and also has intellectual disabilities. when he was young, he went to a school that used physical restraints when he had aggressive behavior. the staff quickly learned that he enjoyed being restrained and would use aggressive behavior to get his need for proprioceptive input met. they had to work harder at picking up on his behavioral communication before it escalated into aggression, so they could provide that for him without anyone being assaulted.

    it’s an interesting theory, and based on anecdotal evidence, i think my partner and i should research further! ha!

    • Interesting! I don’t seek proprioceptive feedback but my 4yr old HFA daughter most definitely does. From 2yrs old, she’s always insisted on ‘squeezy cuddles’, as she calls them.

      Good luck with your own research, you must keep me posted! 😉 Lol

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